Social Media’s Lack of Social Awareness
“If someone so much as says ‘my boyf–’ on social media, they’re muted.”
— Chanté Joseph for Vogue
What is going on? It feels like simply having a screen has convinced everyone that their every thought deserves to be broadcasted. I know freedom of speech exists, but I am beginning to think it might be wasted on the majority of today’s online population.
People. Talk. Too. Much.
I recently read the Vogue article that sparked this whole conversation among my friends and I. I had seen snippets before, but reading it in full made something click. The writing was entertaining, but more importantly, it highlighted a pattern that I have been noticing on social media for years now — what I would call a jealousy epidemic.
People spend so much time watching and dissecting strangers’ lives rather than sitting with themselves and tending to their own relationships. The idea that someone would unfollow another person simply because they posted their boyfriend is absurd to me. The common excuse is “I just don’t find it entertaining anymore,” but I don’t buy that. If anything, it sounds like jealousy disguised as disinterest.
Many claim they follow people they can “relate to,” yet how many can actually relate to influencers who do not work, travel constantly, and live lifestyles worlds away from the average person? The only time people suddenly care about “relatability” is when romance enters the feed. The boyfriend changes everything.
The article touches on how people now feel guilty posting their partners because the dating landscape is seen as bleak. Realistically though, dating has always been complicated. What is new is the reaction: instead of addressing their own dissatisfaction or loneliness, people get uncomfortable seeing someone else happy. It is emotionally easier to resent than to reflect.
Social media has also made relationships harder by pushing extreme, objectifying narratives. Women calling men wallets. Men calling women objects. Content creators don’t seem to realize how deeply this shapes younger people’s understanding of love. Both genders are taught to treat each other as something to use rather than someone to know.
On top of that, many now believe that a “good relationship” means the man must do everything. Which is why so many relationships fall apart. Any relationship — romantic or platonic — collapses when effort is one-sided. The person giving more will eventually fade.
One line from the article stuck with me:
“Even though I am a romantic, I still feel like men will embarrass you even 12 years in, so claiming them feels so lame.”
If that is genuinely how you view your partner, why are you there? Why stay somewhere where trust and respect are already gone?
As my friend Sara said when we talked about this: “Everyone has their own definition of a good relationship, so why do people online believe they have the right to speak about others?” I agree with her. We have become so used to generalizing, criticizing, and filtering our thoughts to match trends that independent thinking feels almost rebellious.
We are terrified of discomfort. Everything is supposed to be easy now — work, dating, friendships, even self-growth. Social media has trained us to believe that good things should “just happen.” So when someone has what we want — a healthy relationship, strong boundaries, emotional maturity — it feels threatening, as though it couldn’t possibly be earned.
We have also been taught to fear vulnerability. As if being good to someone is automatically a weakness. As if love is a game of control. This mindset has made people guarded, distant, and convinced that everyone is out to hurt them.
Yes, boundaries and self-value matter. I agree with those concepts. But not when they are used as excuses to be unreliable, emotionally unavailable, or dismissive of the people who care about us. Protecting your peace should not mean abandoning effort.
Showing up for the people you love will always require stepping outside your comfort zone. In my experience, the right person takes more effort and more patience than the wrong ones ever did — and that is exactly why it is worth it.
Nothing meaningful comes easily. It’s not supposed to.
